Ugh, I don’t even like looking at that post title. Mornings suuuck.
My whole life I’ve classified myself as a night owl because waking up is just so hard. I like being up early, I just hate waking up early. I hate dragging myself out of my warm cozy bed, I hate the grogginess and overcoming the intense temptation to come up with an excuse to crawl back into bed. It’s very difficult for me to think about all the good things that are worth waking up for when I’m in that state of mind.
Well, since anxiety and depression came along, I’ve become neither a morning person nor a night person. For a long time I’ve been tired. All. The. Time. Some days there was a sweet spot between 3 and 5 pm when I felt pretty ok, if I got a nap that day.
The morning fog became morning misery. On my mission I would wake up and instantly feel a pit in my stomach the size of an orange, an acidy feeling rising up my throat, and a feeling of dread that I simply can’t explain. I’ve battled intense morning anxiety ever since then.
In the last few months though, I’ve had a breakthrough. First I have finally found some medications that work (both for mental illness and thyroid problems which were causing my exhaustion). And second, after years of denial, prodding from my mother, and ignoring the obvious facts right in front of me I’ve realized- I am less anxious and depressed during my day when I wake up early.
Waking up isn’t easy when I get up at 7, but it wasn’t any easier when I was getting up at noon. And earlier in the morning I don’t find myself drowning in shame, guilt, fear, and obtrusive thoughts. It’s just that simple. It’s not easy, and most mornings I lay there after my alarm goes off and have to have a serious talk with myself. I would describe getting out of bed as painful for me, but I have to pull myself together long enough to fight the fog for the sake of the rest of my day. And once I’m moving and have shaken off the fog, I find myself happy, even cheerful in the morning. Now, tell that to my high school self!
So, how did I become a morning person? I chose to be. I choose to be. I choose every morning to do what my body and spirit need, and that’s waking up early. It’s one of the greatest form of self-care I am using right now, and it’s changing everything for me.
I know it sounds easy-just choose to be the person you want to become. It’s so not. Becoming is a process of months and years and continual habit building. Nothing worth having will come easily. But I can tell you that this is a habit that I feel strongly is worth having. And when I have the victory of getting up on time under my belt, I build my day on a foundation of success.
Am I saying everyone needs to wake up early? Am I judging you for sleeping until noon? Of course not- we are all doing the best we can and maybe sleeping in is best for you. This is just a working log of what’s helping me get results in improving my mental, physical, and spiritual health.
I find this video really inspiring, and I often quote Lewis Howes’ words as I wake up 🙂